I feel so out of place in this world

I don’t know what to say anymore to people..

Something about this world seems completely wrong. Is this really humanity? Is this really the core capacity of compassion that the average person has?

I read articles about how cities are banning feeding the homeless. It’s like how can you possibly think that denying those who have had a struggle and hit rock bottom food is going to magically make the “problem” go away?

Every person’s situation and story is different, you really think people choose to live this way? do you? can you think of any of your friends that WANT to live that way? No i think not. If you have never felt the struggle yourself than you have no idea how hard it actually is to pick yourself up from that point. It’s the same as trying to describe a color to a blind person. You just simply will not understand unless you’ve lived it. There is already so much legislation that makes homelessness technically illegal. You don’t think that instead of banning people from food to make the “problem” go away, instead make a clear and paved path for these people to get back on their feet might be a better solution?

No it seems that requires effort of thought on the part of lawmakers, The stupidity here is they only see the pricetag now but not the price tag in the long run by their actions. Which astounds me considering these people are CEO’s and very rich lawmakers with INVESTMENTS in projects or stocks that yield a long term wealth. Well if that is not it, then we as humans by majority seem to have hit a coldheartedness that saddens me.

I read articles about people stupidly leaving their guns out in a place their children can get a hold of it and end up killing themselves, the parent or another sibling. I read about the police brutality, murder and subjugation of people that is entirely in violation of civil rights. And guess what … no fucks are given..

I feel so angry because i am helpless to do anything about it. Because of the life i have lived my voice carries no weight, my credibility carries no weight, because of my financial situation i carry no weight.

I am a weightless voice screaming out at the world STOP!! LOOK AT WHAT YOU ARE DOING!


It’s a sick joke…

At several points in my life i turned to religion in an effort to relieve this hurt and sadness i feel, pushing my feelings off to a voiceless fabrication of my mind trying to perceive that there is some deity that can hear me only makes it worse. I’m still trying to understand this life, i feel very much alone in this world.

My wife and children seem to be the only connections i can have, everyone else seems as though they are missing something inside of them, something that would make them whole as a being. Everyone i see looks like empty shells of what they could be. Entirely consumed by the materialistic world and the lives of idols they worship completely ignorant to the harsh reality that exists outside of their bubble.

If anything the homeless and those who have struggled hard through their lives have that piece of themselves that is rare to find.

I feel so out of place in this world because i apparently feel too much, i am a libtard and a dumbass for caring because i am an enabling sympathizer who is a feminazi and a white guilt advocate. I am also apparently a baby killing atheist with no balls who needs to man up and i guess follow christ by doing everything the opposite of what he teaches.

right? RIGHT?

I don’t care… labels labels labels, the best distraction from action.

Someday perhaps the world of humans will wake up. Or.. perhaps i will wake up and see beyond this twisted reality of humans. 

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